A Wake of Vultures

The other day, I was driving to work when I encountered a wake of vultures. Before you ask—no I did not know that a group of vultures feeding on a carcass is called a wake, while a group of vultures in flight is called a kettle. Instead, I thought, I wonder if a group of vultures is called a murder, which of course is what a group of crows is called. We now know that I am, in this one, single, rare case… wrong.

But that egregious error also brought about something good. I know you are dying to know what that is, so it is this. If we have specific names for every species of animal, and some to describe groups of animals in different situations, given what we learned from our study of vultures, then we should apply that logic to other things. I feel compelled to act.

Farther down the road, I found myself in the midst of not one or two Toyota Priuses, but four Priuses. Why, then do we not have names for groups of cars? Because we should, damn it, and we soon will. I decided right then and there that a group of Priuses is to be called, a “Floof.” I was surrounded by a Floof of Priuses. Every time I see a Prius now, I wonder, “Where’s the rest of the Floof?”

Now, we can’t stop at Priuses, but I think that creating new terminology cannot be rushed. I am open to suggestions if you care to comment. But I do have a few others for your consideration. Jeeps travel in groups called Crawls. Jeep drivers signal of members of their crawl with a finger wave. You’ve seen it. Once you notice it, you’ll find that the full Crawl of Jeeps is not far behind. Crawls are plentiful, but the members of every Crawl of Jeeps go to extreme measures to stand out from the others, through colors, accessories, lights, and wheels. No two are alike.

You may encounter a Brush of Outbacks, or a Splurge of Audis, a Stomp of Explorers, or maybe a Frenzy of Hyundais. Maybe you will come across a Swarm of Chargers, or a Paddock of Mustangs, or a Gleam of Camaros. And then maybe, you will see a bunch of Nissans and create a word of your own. It’s fun! Go on and try it for yourself!